A Year Ago Today
by CJtheCregg
Summary: He left her a year ago. Sometimes it hurts so bad that she can’t breathe… and sometimes she forgets that he was ever there to begin with. It was a year ago today…. Dark fic. Rating is for violence. JondyZack.


Title: A Year Ago Today  
  
Author: Jacey925  
  
Rating: R for violence  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, and the song belongs to Delta Goodrem (In My Own Time).  
  
Summary: He left her a year ago. Sometimes it hurts so bad that she can't breathe. and sometimes she forgets that he was ever there to begin with. It was a year ago today..  
  
A/N: This story was never meant to turnout like this. It started as something that was meant to be a vaguely sad fic - with Zack leaving. or maybe dying, and Jondy being devastated. What it ended up being, was Jondy in an abusive relationship with Zack, and it's pretty dark in places. I can't say that I've ever been in an abusive relationship, but I can say that this story - the actual act of writing it, opened up some past memories for me, that I'd forgotten. Take from it what you will.  
  
Dedication: For Lex, for introducing me to the wonders of Delta in the first place, and for always being there for me, when I need her. Thanks chica.  
  
***************  
  
//Another year older  
  
A little bit stronger  
  
A little bit wiser than  
  
A year ago today //  
  
****************  
  
She wakes up slowly. Sometimes the morning comes too quickly, and she jolts awake at the sound of her alarm, dreading the fact that she has to get up and go to work. And other times, when it's her day off, the rising sun that creeps through her window, bathing her in golden light wakes her up. slowly and deliciously.  
  
She stretches, and swings her legs over the edge of the bed, smiling to herself.  
  
It's the first day she's had off in weeks, and she's planning to enjoy it. As she makes her way into the kitchen, walking half in a daze, longing for a cup of coffee, she glances the calendar hanging on the wall. She frowns, and glances as it more directly. 'Damn.' She mutters.  
  
She leans against the wall and slowly slides down it, and bringing her knees up to her chest, she rests her face in her hands... and remembers.  
  
******************  
  
A Year Ago Today...  
  
******************  
  
Jondy sighed, and brushed a piece of hair off her face, tucking it behind her ear, as she fumbled for her house key in her bag. Finally, after juggling her bag, a brown paper bag full of groceries, and a 6 pack of beers, she got the door opened, and grinned at the thought of seeing her boyfriend, after what had possibly been the longest day in history.  
  
After dumping her bag on the couch, and the groceries in the kitchen, she popped the top on one of the beers, and kicking her shoes off, wandered down the hallway to their bedroom. 'I'm home.' She called out.  
  
She stopped, mid step, and mid swallow, as she entered the room, to see him packing. 'Whatcha doing?' she questioned, looking confused. even though she knew very well what was happening. Like clockwork they moved states every six months.. But they'd been here for a year, so she'd thought that maybe.. Maybe he'd changed his mind.  
  
'We have to leave now.' He stated, looking up at her briefly, 'And put that beer down. Alcohol only effects your judgment.'  
  
Jondy frowned, 'What? Why do we have to leave?' she demanded.  
  
He sighed and stopped what he was doing. 'Jon, you know that we can't stay in once place for too long. Hell.' He said, throwing his arms in the air, 'We've been here too long as it is...'  
  
Jondy grimaced, 'I don't want to leave..' She murmured quietly, knowing that he'd hear her. 'I have friends here. I have a job, and a nice place to live..'  
  
'Exactly.' He ground out. 'You're settled. We can't afford to get settled anywhere.'  
  
'Damn it Zack!' she said, waving an arm in the air, 'I LIKE it here! You can't just keep moving me around whenever you feel like it!' she screamed at him, as she carried on waving her arms around, beer sloshing from the bottle, and covering Zack's face in a fine spray.  
  
Jondy shrunk back as his face turned a peculiar shade of red, and his hand struck out. She winced and waited for it to come in contact with her skin. The sharp smack sounded just before the pain set in. She looked up at him towering over her, as she shrunk back into the corner.  
  
***************  
  
//Looking over my shoulder  
  
I was so much younger then  
  
I can't believe what happened  
  
A year ago today //  
  
***************  
  
She shut her eyes tightly, and willed him to stop. She didn't fight back. She never fought back. Hell, she knew she was strong enough to... and she used to fight back. But now it was pointless. The quieter she stayed... the less she moved, the sooner it was over. The sooner he stopped hurting her.  
  
'Damn it Jondy!' he yelled, his voice rebounding off her ear drums. He grabbed the half empty beer bottle off her, and threw it at the wall above her head. Little shards of glass showered down on her, mixed with drops of alcohol.  
  
'You just fucking don't get it do you Jondy?' he says, pulling her off the floor. He pushed her against the wall, where she cowered. 'You don't get that they could get us. they could kill us anytime they wanted.'  
  
Jondy nodded mutely, and slid further along the wall. If she could get to the bathroom door... She paused, sensing his eyes on her. She looked up and almost stopped breathing at the anger. and pure distaste. hatred that was in his eyes. 'You always do this Jon.' He said, coming closer. 'You sneak away, and you think I don't see it.' He raised his arm slightly, fencing her in, against the wall, 'But I see it Jon. I see it. And this time, you're not going to hide from me.'  
  
Jondy nodded again. Agree with everything. Never say no, unless it's the required answer. If you give the answer wanted. then you can't be wrong. At least in theory anyway.  
  
Zack sighed, and brushed a piece of hair off her face. He trailed his hand down her face. under her chin, resting it on her shoulder. 'I know more than you think I do Jondy.' He ground out between his teeth. 'I see everything..' He slammed her against the bathroom door, and the handle crunched into two ribs. 'Go hide in the bathroom Jondy.' He growled, 'And while you're there, start packing all that girly crap you have. We're leaving....' he laughed slightly, 'The neighbors were getting too suspicious anyway.' He said, pushing her in, and slamming the door.  
  
'Yeah, cause of your yelling.' Jondy muttered, sighing and stiffly sat down on the edge of the bath, letting out a sob. 'Don't cry, don't cry. do not cry.' She said to her self. 'Crying only makes you weak soldier.'  
  
*********************  
  
//And I just can't forget about it  
  
It wouldn't mean a thing  
  
You went away  
  
A year ago today //  
  
*********************  
  
She packed quickly and efficiently. Ever bottle, every container in it's own spot in her bag. And all the while thinking of a way to get out of this... escape and evade. Lydecker would be proud.  
  
She swore quietly to herself as she realized that she was finished in the bathroom, and would eventually have to go back out there. She turned and looked in the mirror... There was a red hand shaped mark. quickly dulling to a pinky purple, on her check. At least she healed quick, she thought, as he lifted her shirt slightly, examining the boot marks on her rib cage. Nothing that wouldn't heal over night, she thought. unless Zack was in one of his moods again. And he usually was after a fight... slamming her hard against the bed, again and again. It wasn't rape, because she never said no. Didn't mean she couldn't hate it though.  
  
She twisted slightly, wincing at the pain, and gaped slightly at the tear in her skin, where the door handle had hit her. It was red, and there was blood drying on her skin.. On her clothes. 'I need a clean top.' she muttered.  
  
She washed her face, trying to not to catch her image in the mirror. Red eyes.. A bruise forming on her cheekbone, bruised ribs. and a large hand shaped mark on her shoulder. Carefully, and working as efficiently as a nurse who'd done this hundreds of times before - she couldn't remember anymore if the practice was from Manticore, or because of all the patching up she'd done since she's been with Zack - she wrapped her ribs up, and but bandages on the bright red welts on her back.  
  
She glanced in the mirror, and was surprised to see tears running down her face. 'Don't cry..' She murmured. 'Please don't cry.'  
  
***************  
  
//Another year gone by  
  
Oh the tears have run dry  
  
Life seemed so unkind  
  
A year ago today //  
  
**************  
  
She sensed him looking up at her, as she quietly opened the bathroom door. She smiled tensely at him, trying not to show the pain she felt with each step. 'Hey she murmured.  
  
He ran his eyes over her body openly, and she could almost hear him gloating that she was his. It obviously took a few seconds for his to realize that she'd taken off her top. He growled at her, 'But a bloody top on Jondy. You look like a slut.'  
  
Jondy opened her mouth to explain.. To tell him that her old top was ruined; but thought better of it. She nodded mutely, and reached into the top drawer of the dresser, pulling out the first shirt that her hand came into contact with. She pulled it on, without even looking at it, and turned around.  
  
Zack growled under his breathe. 'Are you trying to piss me off?' he asked.  
  
Jondy frowned, and looked down. Emblazoned across of the low cut, red top, were the words 'Slut Bomb'. She inwardly winced. She should have been more careful. Damn it.  
  
He stalked over to her, and grabbed her wrist. 'Take it off. Now.' He commanded. She nodded, and reached down to pull the top off. 'Here.' He said, thrusting a long sleeved button up shirt in her face. 'Wear this.' He ran his eyes over her body again, as she buttoned it up. 'No one sees your body but me. Got it?' he asked, running a hand up her side. She nodded.  
  
She breathed an inner sigh of relief, when it looked like he was about to leave the left room, but he didn't - not before, pulling her to him, and giving her a rough - too rough - kiss, thrusting his tongue into her mouth.  
  
He grinned at her. with a well practiced leer, and ran his hand up her side, leaving it resting on her chest. 'You're mine.' He said, using his other hand to cup her chin, and direct her eyes to him. 'Mine.' He said more forcefully.  
  
Somehow.. She didn't quite know how, they were on the bed, and he was towering over her Pressing her into the mattress. She shut her eyes tightly and prayed. wished, hoped that it'd be over soon.  
  
He was grinding himself into her, and she fought hard to not throw up. His large hands came up and practically tore the top off her. She whimpered slightly, and almost begged him to stop. but couldn't. it'd only make it worse.  
  
Her ribs hurt from the pressure he was putting on them, and when she heard the doorbell ring, she felt like jumping up and hugging and kissing whoever it was that had saved her. But she didn't. She lay still and watched as anger filled his eyes again. 'Damn it.' He growled, getting off her - not at all gently.  
  
*************  
  
//And I just can't understand it  
  
I don't think I ever will  
  
You went away  
  
A year ago today //  
  
***************  
  
He stalked out of the room, and Jondy lay there trying to catch her breathe, trying to will the hurt away. She almost smiled when she heard the voice of the person at the door. 'Is everything okay dear?' Maggie Patterson, from down the hall said.  
  
She could hear Zack turning on the charm, 'Everything's fine Mrs. Patterson.'  
  
'Where's Jondy?' Mrs. Patterson said, with an all too knowing tone in her voice. 'Are you okay honey?' she called out. Jondy almost snorted, obviously Mrs. P could see right through Zack's charm.  
  
'I'm fine Maggie.' She called out, hoping that it'd satisfy the neighbor, turned friend and mother figure.  
  
'Jondy honey,' Maggie said, 'Come out here for a second?'  
  
Jondy's eyes bulged. 'Crap.' She muttered, thinking of the large bruise on her cheek. Think fast.. think fast. 'Um, I just got out of the shower.. so I'm getting changed. Really Maggie, I'm fine..'  
  
She could hear Maggie sighing, but then replying 'OK honey. I'll see you later.' The sound of her turning to leave was heard, before her footsteps stopped. 'I'm watching you young man.' She said to Zack, in a threatening tone, that Jondy never would have thought was possible for Maggie Patterson. You just watch your step.'  
  
The door slammed shut, and Zack came back in. 'Damn meddling bitch.' He growled, 'Always sticking her nose in where it isn't wanted.' He ran his eyes over Jondy again, 'Quick thinking Jondy.' He said, in an almost congratulatory manner. He smiled at her, almost smirking. He pulled her suitcase out of the cupboard, and threw it on the bed. 'Pack.' He said to her, and left the room.  
  
********************  
  
//And how many times have I questioned myself  
  
What more could I do  
  
And how many times have I fooled myself  
  
Over you oh //  
  
********************  
  
Jondy fought the urge to run into the bathroom and wash her mouth out, and slowly and meticulously, placed item after item into her bag. She sighed, and said quietly, 'It shouldn't hurt this much.' Zack was right. people were starting to stare. to look, to become suspicious. She snorted. not because they were.. Freaks. But because more than once she'd gone to work with a black eye. Because she wore long sleeved tops all too often - even in the middle of summer. And because everyone within their apartment building would here the yelling and the thumps as he slammed her into doors and walls. It was time to leave. Whether she wanted to or not.  
  
She hauled her suitcase into the lounge, and left it next to the door, intending to go and get a drink before they left. She got half way across the room before Zack glanced up at her from where he was studying a map at the kitchen table and said, 'You have too much stuff. Go re-pack slut.'  
  
And maybe that was it. Maybe that was what made her anger grow and boil in her, until she snapped. 'No.' she stated.  
  
He looked up, fury filling his eyes, 'What, did you say?'  
  
'No.' Jondy said firmly.  
  
He stood up, advancing on her, but this time she stood her ground. He reached out, as if to grab her arm, and she moved. Fast. She did what she'd never done with him before. She fought back. She kicked and she punched and she hurt him, until he was curled up in the corner.... ironic really, since it was usually her huddled in the corner.  
  
'No.' she said to him, as he struggled to pull himself to his feet. He looked at her with a look, that could almost be described as pride. Almost. but not quite. There was still the anger.. the resentment. 'So you finally found some guts, huh Jondy?' he said harshly.  
  
She looked at him, advancing slowly. Slowly coming towards her, and she struck out. She knew that she'd hit him pretty hard. Hard enough to knock him out. not to kill him. She hated him... but she didn't want him dead, cause god, how she loved him.  
  
She smiled, in an almost self satisfied way, and moved around the apartment, collecting what of hers that she could. 'I'm outta here Zack.' She said breezily, as she opened the door, 'Don't wait up!'  
  
****************  
  
//You've gotta pick yourself up,  
  
Take another look  
  
And dust yourself off cause life's too good,  
  
I'll say it to myself and I'll say it again  
  
Love will never end//  
  
******************  
  
Two weeks later, she came back. She hadn't been planning too. She was going to start fresh somewhere.. But in a sense, Zack had been right. She had too many connections here - and she'd be damned if she didn't stay.  
  
Jondy walked up to her apartment door, to find an eviction notice tacked on it. 'Damn.' She muttered, and sighing, dumped her bags, before heading down to the landlord's place to pay off the debts.  
  
An hour later and she was settling back in. But she couldn't make herself go anywhere near the bedroom - or the bathroom for that matter. Too many bad memories. She sighed.. she should have just moved on. gone somewhere else.  
  
A banging on the door interrupted her thinking, and for a second her breathe caught, and she was sure that Zach had come back for her. 'No.' she murmured, standing up and going over to look out the peep hole. She breathed a sigh of relief when she was Maggie Patterson's worried face.  
  
She opened the door, and was immediately bombarded with an almost airborne body. 'Jondy!' Maggie practically squealed in her ear. 'When did you get back?'  
  
Jondy laughed at the excitement that was obvious on the middle aged woman's face. 'Only a few hours ago Maggie.'  
  
Maggie's eyes darted around the apartment, 'Is.. He here?' she asked quietly.  
  
Jondy shook her head, 'No. I haven't seen Zack since I left.'  
  
Maggie nodded with satisfaction, 'Good. That boy was a piece of work.' She smiled at Jondy, 'Now, you're back!' she said, grinning. 'You'll come over for dinner?' she told, rather than asked her.  
  
Jondy nodded, 'Sure, why not?' and then paused as if thinking. 'Actually, I have a favor to ask you...' she said, trailing off.  
  
Maggie nodded, 'Whatever it is honey, the answer's yes.'  
  
She smiled, and was grateful to have a friend like Maggie. 'Um, my bathroom's kinda stuffed up at the moment. something to do with the pipes.' she bluffed, 'So, ah, would you mind if I used yours till I can get it fixed?'  
  
Maggie nodded, 'That's find honey. I'll give you a key, and you just come on over whenever you need to. Now,' she said looking around, 'I'm going to go to the market and see what I can dig up for dinner, and I'll leave you to unpack.' She smiled at Jondy, and gave her a slight pat on the head, 'I'll glad your back sweetie... welcome home.' She said, as she hugged her.  
  
Jondy smiled, trying not to let the tears fall, and as Maggie left, and whispered, 'Thanks.'  
  
That night she slept on the couch.. And it was 3 weeks before she could handle walking into the bedroom, and a month before she could use her own bathroom.  
  
****************  
  
//And though we're so far apart  
  
You're forever in my heart //  
  
//You went away  
  
A year ago today //  
  
//You went away  
  
A year ago today//  
  
***************** 


End file.
